Talking To Yourself
by Genic
Summary: So different yet the same. to come face to face with yourself is something buffy never though posible. The rating may go depending on later chapters. ok i suck at summaries just trust me and have a read. my first fic so please be kind and review.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:-** I don't own any of the Original BTVS Character. Joss Wheadon is the man. However i do own all of the OC, they are mine and mine alone Muhahaha...cough...hahah.

**This is and AU original story so all reviews are welcome. some of the Language is how Scottish people say is so if you don't get what i'm saying is ok thats the way its supposed to be. **

**   
**

**Talking To Yourself**

She was out on patrol as usual. Only there was a difference, it was raining, it was cold and she could hear the faint rumbling of Thunder and flashes of lighting. She was so annoyed at Giles for sending her out on patrol on a night like this, she new, that like her, vamps didn't like being out in the rain or so she thought.

It was already way past midnight and she was cold and hungry. She was doing the last sweep of the graveyard when all of a sudden the lighting started to get louder and more frequent. **_"Humm the storm must be getting closer to town"_** she thought. Just a she walked up past the old Heat mausoleum the lighting struck so close to her that she could feel the static in the air. **"WOOW"** she shouted as she rolled out of the way and onto her feet. When she looked back to inspect the damage that lighting bolt had done to the ground she was surprised to see a man standing there with his back to her and for some reason he was wearing a skirt. His clothes were torn and there were numerous wounds that seemed to be bleeding. He turned his head, looked up and seen her standing there, a girl all alone at night. **_"I don't know what the hell just happened, OOhhh look what we have, Dinner"_** he though as he started to walk toward Buffy. As soon as she saw the guy she knew what he was **"Oh goody at lest this night wasn't a total bust. All right, tall, pale and hay do u know your wearing a dress".** He just looked at her and grinned **"Keep talking girl for soon you shall be screaming"** just as he was about to attack, lighting struck for a second time but this time a young woman rolled out from the light and up into a fighting stance right next to Buffy. The girl was wearing combat boots and trousers, she had a piece of cloth thrown over her left shoulder and tied to her belt on the right side. She was wearing a black mask that covered her whole head apart from her eyes.

He didn't understand what was happening all he new was that he couldn't feel his master anymore and that scared him. He was so hungry because of that bitch. That bitch had found him just as the sun was going down and he hadn't had the chance to feed.

Buffy was stunned at what she had just witnessed. First off, Lighting just struck the same place twice, the first time a vamp was left and the second a masked woman **"OOOooooKKKKkkkk well that was Freaky" **Buffy said with a confused look on her face. The vamp took one look at the woman and roared with rage. He charged her but Buffy went to interfere to help her but the woman put her hand up **"don't interfere, this bustard mine."** Buffy stopped and looked at her with a curious look. As the vamp got closer Buffy noticed that he was different from most vamps. His eyes were white instead of yellow and his futures were deeper and more demonic looking. The young woman side stepped him, tripped him with her foot and as he fell, she brought her elbow down hard on the back of his head. As soon as he hit the floor she jumped on him and hit him so hard in the face she felt his nose break. She rolled away and allowed him to get up. **"No one should die on their backs, not event a leach like you"** she said from behind her mask.

Buffy looked on as the vamp got up holding his nose. She had been all pumped up for a good slay but this was way more interesting to watch. But something about the woman seemed familiar to her but she didn't know what, it was just a feeling. She watched as the vamp and this woman faced each other. The vamp drew a blade from his boot as did the woman.

"**You will die this night leach and I shall dance in you ashes" **she shouted. The vamp just grinded **"we shall see Guardian." **They charged each other. The woman through her blade into the air, the vamp watched the blade wondering what she was doing. She watched for her moment and then it came, he looked away and she dove after him catching him in a head lock, she snatched her blade out of the air and plunged into his heart and twisted, she let him go thinking the battle was over but before he died he thrust his blade through the air and into her stomach. The guardian saw what he was about to do but she didn't have time to dodge. The blade slide in with ease, shredding all the tissue the metal touched. She grabbed the blade that now lay buried in her gut as she looked down "**awe well this is going to hurt"** and with a grunt of pain she pulled the blade free. She looked up to see Buffy staring at her wide eyed; she looked down to see how much blood was actually poring out of her **"well that ain't good."** The guardian fell to her knee's and looked up **"Guardian, I've been lookin for ya…….aaaaaawwwwww……" **she said as she tried to get up, with a grunt of pain she fell back onto her knee's.

Buffy was shocked to say the least. This woman, this guardian person knew what she was but that was impossible. She also moved like a slayer and fought like, well like Buffy did. It was weird. She approached the mysterious woman very carefully. The woman looked up at her, pain clearly written across her face **"it's alright I wont hurt ya……aahh….just give me a sec."** There was something about this woman that Buffy couldn't figure out. The woman looked at her and grunt in pain **"I've been looking for you for ages… aaahhh we need your help, please take me somewhere safe ….aaahhh……. I'll tell you everything then….please…" **with a last grunt of pain the woman passed out. Buffy didn't know what to do.

She retrieved the blade from the ground were the woman had dropped it after pulling it out of her gut. She looked at it briefly but it looked as if half the blade was missing. She placed it into one of her inside pockets, went over to the woman and picked her up and started carrying her to the only place she knew would be safe.


	2. Chapter 2 Pain and Bain

**Desclaimer**:- I own nuthing Joss Wheadon Owns All apart from my OC they are mine alone

**Pleas review i love reviews it will make me soo happy**

Thanks to "Messengerofthegods" for your review**  
**

**Chapter 2****Pain and Bain**

It was just after 3am when Buffy reached Giles's apartment. She hammered on the door. Giles awoke with a start; he jumped out of bed and ran down the stares. He opened the door just as Buffy was about to kick it in. She lost her balance and stumbled forward with the woman in her arms. Gils ran forward and help steady her. He took one look at all the blood **"bloody hell Buffy what happened. Are you all right?"** she shook her head **"I'm fine but she isn't. She got stabbed in a fight with this funky looking vamp" **Giles helped her put the woman on the couch. He ran to get the first aid box he always kept in the kitchen. He kneeled by the woman examining the wound on her stomach. He looked at her **"Buffy I don't understand, this is just a flesh wound, it's not deep enough to cause this much blood." **Buffy looked at him confuse **"what are you talking about, the knife went in up to its hilt"** she retrieved the broken weapon from her jacket pocket to show him. **"Shit Giles I forgot, almost half of the blade broke, I….I think it's still in….in….her"** as she kneeled down beside him to take a look **"Giles that isn't possible, it almost fully healed and the blade is still in her."**

The guardian groaned and stared to move. Both Giles and Buffy got up and began to move away. She opened her eyes; she didn't know what was going on. She jumped up out of the couch, over the table behind the couch and got into a fighting stance, which she immediately regretted. She clutched her abdomen and gasped in pain. She felt very sick and it was getting hard for her to breath. She looked at Buffy then at Giles **"Who are you, what do u want, where am I."** she gasped, as if out of breath, in between words. Buffy put her hand up defensively **"hay cam down, it's me remember, you asked for help. Your hurt, the blade is still berried deep in your stomach; we have to remove it before……."** As she spoke the guardian started to wrench violently, brining up a lot of blood. Buffy ran to her **"we have to get you to a hospital" **she looked at Buffy with pleading eyes** "no….no hospitals…..they wont understand…..you have to do it."** She said looking at Giles. He looked at her with a kind of scared look on his face **"Buffy she's right, they won't understand and by looks of her she probably won't make it to the hospital in time"** Buffy looks at her watcher stunned that he has just said that. Seeing the scared look on the man's face **"he's right but if you can get the blade out I will do the rest…aaahhhh (wrench)...hurry"** she collapsed deeper to the floor.

Giles runs over to her and instructs Buffy to help him carry her up to his bed. He takes the first aid kit with him along with plenty of clean cloths. They place her on his bed **"Buffy sterilize this while I clean the wound" **Giles said as he was removing the woman's clothes that were covering the wound. Buffy ran to the kitchen, turned on the gas cooker and held the blade in the flame until it was red hot; then dowsed it in water that Giles had previously boiled before going to bed. When she got back up to the room, Giles had already prepared the patient for what lay ahead. He had positioned himself on top of her legs restraining them to the bed, Buffy handed him the now sterile blade. He looked at her and saw the confused look on her face, he sighed **"It's to make sure she doesn't move while I ...em... operate now hold her down at her shoulders because this will be…well…not pleasant" **he said getting ready to cut in. Buffy got behind the young woman **"Giles cant we sedate her or something"** she said as she put her hands over the woman wrists, to stop her from lashing out. Giles shook his head **"I don't have anything that will do it fast enough, besides I don't want to risk her falling into a coma."** Buffy just looked at him and nodded then looked back down to the young woman now restrained to the bed.

The guardian was looking up at the ceiling, pain clearly written on her face. She looked at Buffy as she got into position, then at Giles as he got ready. She knew that Buffy couldn't stop her from moving if she really wanted to, but in order for her to get this god dammed blade out of her she would remain still. She didn't want to be her like this, she had wanted to meet her differently but because of that leach she now lay here like a weak, pathetic girl that didn't know the pointy end of a stack. She hated feeling weak. She had been though so much. She loved what she was yet at the same time hated it. She was so strong yet all she wanted to do was cry like a stupid, weak, pathetic girl.

With a look from Buffy to tell him that she was ready, Giles began. He placed the blade onto her stomach at the same place where she had been stabbed. Slowly, he reopened the wound but he didn't cut deep enough and couldn't see the broken blade. Blood poured from the young woman like water from a tap. The Guardian gasped in pain as a tear ran down the side of her face. She could feel the blade and she knew that he hadn't cut deep enough _"god dam it, fucking stupid leach,….ok…ok get it together….there is no pain……there is no pain…...it's all in ma head….what the hell am I saying, I'm in ma head and the pain is most definitely in ma bloody stomach…."_ She thought as another wave of pain hit her body.

Buffy could see the pain and wanted so much to help her but she couldn't. She let go of one of her arms to retrieve the stack that she always carried with her **"bite down on this"** she said as she placed it at the young woman's mouth. The guardian took it without hesitation.

Giles pushed the blade deeper until her could feel the resistance the other blade would provide. As he pushed deeper the young woman started to tremble. She let out a scream of pain that was muffled by the stack in her mouth. He finally felt what he was looking for. It was more that ¾ of the way though her. he never looked away from the wound **"I can feel it, alright now this is going to hurt, brace yourself, Buffy hold her tight"** he said as he got read to get the blade.

"_about fucking time…hold up how the hell is he going to get it…I hope he isn't doing what I think he's doing"_ she though as she watched the ceiling intently, trying to block the pain.

Giles pushed his index finger and thumb into the wound, he would of used the tweezers from the first aid kit but they weren't nearly long nor strong enough to do the unpleasant job. He kept pushing until he could feel the broken blade between his fingers. She screamed in pain, her body trembling violently with the pain wracking her body. She could see black spots in her eyes and could feel the cold kiss of unconsciousnessbut she knew she had to stay awake. She had to make sure that she could finish what Giles has started. He griped the blade between his fingers and stared to pull the blade out. It was slick with the blood and made it harder for him to pull it start out in one go. He had to keep adjusting his grip and pull it out slowly.

Her body started to go numb and her eyes were rolling in her head but she would not give in to the over whelming urge to stop fighting to stay away. She had to fight; her life quite literally depended on it. Buffy seen her eyes starting to roll **"hay stay with me, don't go to sleep…hay"** she said as she slapped the woman across the face. Her eyes snapped back into focus and she glared at Buffy with a mix of anger and thanks. She could feel his fingers moving in and around the wound in her stomach, _"god he's really, really slow at this. If I was home, it would have been over by now" _she though. Giles griped the broken blade and gave one last pull. With a final scream of pain from the young woman the blade was pulled free from her body. He placed the blade on the bedside table and retrieved the needle and well, for lack of a better word, thread. He dabbed the blood away from the wound and went to stitch her up when all of a sudden.

Her body was still racked with pain but it was substantially less that it had been only seconds before. She looked over and Giles and saw him put the accursed blade on the little table and saw him pick up a needle and thread **"what the hell…I'm not a puppet to sow together when I have a tare"** she though. She knew that they wouldn't let her up without closing the wound. She spat the stack out of her mouth and took a deep breath before using her last remaining strength to though Giles off of her lap and roll away from Buffy.

Before Buffy realized what was happening the young woman had already released herself from the grip of the slayer, throne her watch halfway across the room and had rolled of the bed and now stood hunched in a corner at the other end of the room.

The Guardian looked at Buffy and gasped **"thanks but the needle and thread won't be necessary, just…aahh…give me a minute." **As she spoke she dropped to one knee, _"dam I've lost too much blood…I have no other choice" _she thought as she retrieved a small vile of black liquid with a very long needle attached to it. She took a deep breath, raised the syringe in level with her heart and plunged it straight through her ribcage until it reached her heart. As soon as the needle was in all the way she injected the liquid into her heard. With a grunt of pain she pulled it out and let it drop to the floor. She fell forward on her hands and knees, she could feel it working, she could feel it going into every part of her body and in that moment she hated herself more that she ever had. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as the drug hit, she straightened up on her knees, through her head back with her arms out. All the muscles in her entire body tensed. The sensation made her wand to kill herself, it was as if her body wasn't hers anymore, it was the thing that the Empire had created in the lad. As the drug subsided she fell forward onto her stomach and rolled onto her back. She placed a hand down to where the wound should be and all she could feel was the blood and a slight line of where the cut should be.

Buffy and Giles looked at her in astonishment. They had just witness something that neither of them thought they would ever see and that's saying something considering the lives they lead. As soon as Buffy saw the need she went to intervene but Giles had stopped her. They just looked at the young woman on the floor in amazement. Buffy blinked and said "what the hell…what the hell what that." The young woman turned her head and looked Buffy straight in the eye "that was the Bain of my existence."


End file.
